At the Door

No Cover charge?

It's tme we talked about one of the most well known and least enjoyed moments of the nite-- arriving at the door. At this moment, you find yourself face-to-face with a doorman who uses his magnificient cranium to make a lightning fast, rocket science decision... "is this babe good enough to let in?"

Laugh, laugh it up, but it remains true. Not to say that our beloved mongoloids working the door of just about each and every joint in town are biased towards the ladies. Oh no, never!

That's why when a group of 4 guys and 4 girls arrive to the door, ther ladies are all allowed free entrance and the fellas are treated like second class citizens and forced to pay an exorbent sum equivalent to the tuition for putting every inhabitant of New York City through medical school. What's a decade's worth of earnings when the chica you just met 10 minutes ago are waiting for you inside?

Fortunately, we don't have to pay through the nose here in Madrid. Most bars and pubs have no cover charge and those discos that do usualy aren't too stiff on the door fee. The most rigorous part of it all is the physical inspection.Don't expect to be let in wearing tennis shoes and shorts. Or blue jeas you clearly stole from a homeless lumberjack. Naw, leave the "I was born in the wilderness and have don't even know how to spell showir" look at home.

Look decent as my mom used to always say. It never hurt you chances. And if you're getting rejected at the door, before you can even reach the dance floor, you're hurting!

And for gawd sake, when you reach the door of whichever disco you have decided to bestow your royal presence upon, shut up! The times a loud, obnoxious, over talkative guy gets jacked at the door reach the millions every weekend. Keep quiet and play it cool. The more you talke and try to chat up the cromagnon at the door the lower and lower your chances become of getting in. remember, you're smooth. They just may not know it yet

Green light? Go first, keep your mouth shut, and bitch about how you could have taken the 200kilo sumo wrestler turned bouncer any day of week, but not tonite because your back is still sore from rescuing all the chidren from the burning orphanage yesterday. Just be happy you didn't get the big "No-No", allright?